Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Deployment Diaries Cont'd: Days go By

Sleep well America- My Marine has your back ;)

Chapter 5: Survival tips

Most important tip- KEEP A SMILE ON :)

1. Stay Strong- I feel that Paul being gone has made us stronger, and made our relationship stronger. I feel that it has made me more independant, and I have been doing things on my own, like; paying bills, moving our stuff... taking care of things that he usually would take care of.

2. Keep Busy- The very first night that he was gone, was the worst night ever. I went to softball practice because I promised him that I would keep myself busy... Yeah, big mistake.. nothing like breaking down in front of your whole team. Now I have learned to cope with him not being here, and although it will never "be okay" until he is home, I try not to sit and dwell on the subject. I go out with my friends. I play on a team. I sell Mary Kay. I am currently in the process of moving, and I have a puppy to keep me busy.

3. Call on your friends- Before he first left I thought I would want to be alone, all the time... NOT. I did the first night and that is it. I need to constantly be around people to remind myself that I do have a life and it doesn't consist of sitting on the couch getting fat for 7 months... which we all know some wives face that obstacle. Needless to say- the past 3 months have not been lonely for me; lonely in a romantic perspective, but my friends are here for me and I couldnt ask for a better group of friends to pull my support from!

4. Remember your promise- One of the most common type of feelings felt through deployment is overwhelm. Before my husband left, he took care of all the bills. He took care of the maintanence in the house, and I cooked, cleaned, and did the laundry- and we all know that cooking and cleaning and laundry all day can get tiring. Let alone being the husband and wife all at one time!

5. Throw a pity party- Man oh Man.... I have these quite often. There is nothing more relaxing that the lifetime movie network, and a tub of icecream... cuddle up on the couch and be lazy. Cry your eyes out. Nothing can help better than letting it all out! But dont make it a habit! One day only- then everything goes back to normal the next day :)

6. Be prepared- Make sure that you have everything done that needs to be done before he leaves... like POA and  Wills, and car registration, safety inspections, and make sure everythings good with your insurances. And learn as much as you possibly can before he leaves. Attend the CACO (Casualty Assistance Calls Officer) Meetings- they are depressing, but they are very helpful. Make sure you attend the Deployment briefings, and GET ON the  Family Readiness Officers E-mail list.

7. Face your feelings- We need to take one day at a time and let our emotions run their course. Holding emotions in is VERY unhealthy, and we need to either cry it out or talk it out. When times get tough turn on the comedy channel- or call up some of your silly friends. Laughter is the best medicine :)

8. Keep it Real- Dont set impossible goals, dont try to do a million things at one time, and try not freak out when you can get it all done. You're not super woman!

9. Don't drown in your sorrows- Talk it out. Keep in touch with your family. Don't hold it all in, most likely there are other women around you feeling the same way!

10. Accept a helping hand- Don't try to be superwoman- because you aren't. You're one of the strongest women in the world for being married to a Marine- but that does not mean that you are able to do everything in the world. Sometimes it helps to ask for help- even if you don't like to ask for help. Even finding a support group will help.


Semper Fi Ladies <3

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